Are we there yet?

It is a time when grown men can act like little kids. A time when kids who would have been bullied by a man twice their size in high school can trash talk him, and get away with it. A time for those who are normally followers, to lead their chosen ones to the promised land as champions, giving them bragging rights over their friends or co-workers for the next 8 months. Yes...it is time for Fantasy Football 2006.
This will be my third visit to FantasyLand and it promises to be a great trip. Fantasy Football is relatively new to me, and I think to many people. Five years ago, when I heard the term "fantasy baseball", I thought it was some sort of a camp in Florida, where older men(past their prime) could enjoy playing the game, while honing fundamental skills, and meeting some washed-up former major leaguers. So when a co-worker in North Dakota asked me if I was interested in Fantasy Baseball, I started packing for a week of baseball fun in the sun. I was confused when he told me I only had to bring $50, a pencil, some paper, and a magazine. So in April, I showed up at his house in my khaki cutoff shorts and hawaiian floral shirt with the aforementioned objects in my backpack. Well, not only did I misinterpret 'fantasy baseball", but I was also very cold because in North Dakota, it was still the middle of winter . The season was as quickly underway as I was in last place.



Now, Fantasy Football is my fantasy preference. Last year, and my wife will agree, I may have over-indulged myself in Fantasy Football leagues. Four is a little too much(especially when there is a fee)...sorry honey. I feel that the real reason I didn't win any of those leagues is not because of my players' performances, but because I couldn't give my individual teams any undivided attention. In some leagues I would cheer for Ruben Droughns(because he was on my team), and in other leagues I would root against him(because he was on an opponents' team). My players just got too confused and overwhelmed, in my opinion.
This year, I intend to give "The Moist Towelettes" my full and undivided attention in the "Case of Natty" league. It is with this new style of coaching, that will hopefully end the drought and bring a championship home. Plus, as commissioner of the league, I can better "monitor" the stats of each player, can "confirm" the margin of head-to-head victories, and can conitnually "keep track" of the amount of playoff teams. The prize for this....you guessed it....